Ring My Bell

What can I say but work came back with a vengence. There I was turning into a cross between Nigella Lawson and Alan Titchmarch or whatever he's called - baking banana bread and growing things (they've all gone and died forGODS SAKE) when on one particularily avid 'Doris Day' Day I got called up

" Can you make a 70s RUC baton an actor gets hit with it so it has to not really hurt"

Next

"We need a dance floor, 25 chairs, a sofa, armchair, desk, table and a bar painted in a week are you free"

Next

"My set needs painted are you free first week of October"

Next

" Be ready to start painting that set for the Lyric on Monday week."

Next

"I'm putting on a play in November - please design my set and make the props"

Next

"Will you do the puppets and costumes for the UV sequence for our Panto again this year"

Well bugger me of course I said YES to them all as I'll do just about anythingish if I'm free. Missed the chance to carve some rocks for the film 'City of Ember' but that's the way it goes. Right now I'm designing a set, about to make some UV puppets and costumes and as far as I know the actor survived a beating with my 'stunt' baton. I'm also creating a 'BOGMAN' -I love latex

And then some

More photos from Portavogie

PORTAVOGIE

A couple of weeks ago I decided to have a bottle of wine as I had a few days off and Hell bells it was the weekend anyway. So rather than go to my usual off in Ballywalter I decided that I'd give the Quays Restaurant/Pub/Offiein Portavogie a go.
Portavogie is a small very old fishing village about 4 miles from where we live now and even has it's own Fish Festival. saying that when we went down to the Festival there was only the one stall selling fresh fish though there were other stalls selling very tasty local produce and if course the obligitory cheap tools and crappy toys - even one selling replica guns oh joy.
However back to my wine quest it was a really mad foggy day and the whole place took on an eerie feel with shadowy figures of the odd fisherman and the dozens of trawlers clustered together in the harbour without a soul aboard that you could see and in the distance the fog horn muffled out its warning.




It was very cool altogether and was glad I happened to have my camera on me at the time. It's possible to arrange with the local fish monger types to order fish and get it directly from here but I haven't got round to it yet but I will.

MY BABIES

Look Shaun i'm a proud parent too. This is (sadly) the first time since primary school I've grown something from a seed. It's Rocket that's sprouting ahead and the coming from behind is chives, I'm ever so chuffed. I've also got corriander and parsley who i'm coaxing with a bit of gloria gaynor and the promise of the best terra cotta pots once they're sprouted.



With reference to my last entry I wish to report that despite your efforts mr shaun we no longer run the risk of accidentally selling our house. Pete happily removed the offending sign and left it for collection and some time during the dark hours, the time when estate agents emerge to suck the blood out of innocent first time buyers and pensioners alike the sign did disappear. Yeah take that sponge-buckets!



I'm thinking of giving the chives and the other not so enthusiastic seedlings names to encourage them when I give them my pep talk, all suggestions welcome. I open it out to you all. Shaun you can practice names on them - try them out pre baby arrival that's if you are stuck of course - George is a good one or ANNA . Nim if you have any ideas something antipedian (is that right I dunno).


Right I'm offically on holiday and I am successfully avoiding doing anything so far so I'm going to do a bit more of that until I realise that lifes's too short and it hits me I'm nearly forty - OH MY GOD.......

WHATTHE FECKIN BALLOXIS THISFRIG GINGMON KEYPOO

COME HOME IN A GREAT MOOD DESPITE HAVING TO WORK THIS MORNING.

I HAD MET UP WITH SOME PALS AND HAD A GOOD GOSSIP.

I HAD GOT THE 4 TIER MINI GREENHOUSE I WAS SEARCHING FOR TO START MY ATTEMPT AT HERB GROWING LOOKING FORWARD TO PUTTING IT TOGETHER AND BRING FORTH LIFE.

THE SUN WAS OUT THERE WAS A GOOD TUNE PLAYING ON RADIO, ALL WAS WELL WITH THE WORLD.

THEN AS I PULL UP TO OUR HOUSE I THINK TO MYSELF :-

'SOMETHING DOES NOT SEEM RIGHT - WHAT COULD IT BE ?'

WELL BLOW ME ISN'T THERE A CHUFFING GREAT FECKIN 'FOR SALE' SIGN SCREWED TO OUR FENCE!!!

OH MY GOD

-HAD PETE DECIDED HE'D HAD ENOUGH OF TILING AND THOUGHT SOD IT LETS JUST SELL HER UP

-OR HAD WE WON THE LOTTERY AND WE WERE MOVING SOMEWHERE EXOTIC

-HAD WE NEVER ACTUALLY BOUGHT OR LIVED IN THIS HOUSE IT WAS ALL AN ALIEN EXPERIMENT BUT THEY'D FORGOTTEN TO ERASE MY MEMORY (JUST CAN'T GET THE INTERGALACTIC STAFF THESE DAYS)

RANG MY BELOVED - HE WAS READY TO COME HOME FROM WORK EARLY JUST TO TAKE IT DOWN AND BURN IT WITH A QUICKLY HAND MADE EFFIGY (SPELLING NOT GUD) OF AN ESTATE AGENT SUCH IS HIS LOVE AND RESPECT FOR THEY THAT GET PAID LOTS OF MONEY FOR DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING USEFUL!! AND ARE CLEARLY UNFIT EVEN FOR THAT PART OF THE JOB DESCRIPTION.

INSTEAD I PERSUDED HIM TO HOLD ON AND SO I RANG THE OFFENSIVE ONE AND GOT A WOMAN WITH A VERY POSH PHONE VOICE AND ALTHOUGH I CAN'T BE 100% SURE I DON'T THINK SHE EVEN APOLOGUISED FOR BEING A TWA* INSTEAD JUST LAUGHED IN THAT I REALLY DON'T CARE WAY SOME PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY REALLY DON'T CARE.

ABOVE AS IS CLEAR TO SEE THE OFFENSIVE OBJECT CURRENTLY AND OFFENSIVELY SCREWED TO OUR RELATIVELY INOFFENSIVE FENCE.

I FEEL MY RANT HAS COME TO IT'S NATURAL END AND I'M NOW PREPARED TO STOP UNTIL I DISCOVER WHEN I GET HOME TOMORROW THAT THEY HAVEN'T BOTHERED THEY ARSES TO REMOVE SAID OFFENSIVE OBJECT OUT COMES THE SAW AND MATCHES - OH YEAH................

I'm back again

(Aghhh! I don't know how to get the pictures to go where you want them or can you please tell me how thankyou)

Well now that wasn't so bad I've not tried getting onto me old blog for a while - been working loads. I have some time off and thought I try again the last time being completely unsuccessful but hooray here I am. So now I will bore whoever is not quite bored enough - considering whoever is looking at this blog blag must be doing so as they've really nothing better to be doing - with my hapless existance since whenever it was I last added anything to this malarky.

I will attach pictures and let the world decide to what part of this adventure they belong. Got to Australia which was great flights paid for and first week in snazzy hotel also paid for then 1 week there on my own which was fine missed me other half very much. Filled my time with littleold lady tours of Kangaroo island where i saw yes kangaroos but also koalas snoozing up trees, seals that smelt of old tramps pants, dolphins that came right up to the shore to say hello. (I haven't developed my pictures of this left my digi camera at home like a numpty). Saw some shows at the Festival, bumped into Nim - HELLO NIM IM BACK ON BLOG THINGY IT WORKED - Went on the obligatory wine tasting tour again with a hoard of little old ladies my god they got their moneys worth! Lots more went on but I can't remember it a may be when I get photos.

When I got back I was most down for a couple of weeks I think the jet lag messed with me head man. Then what did I do .................. Carnival time was getting into full pelter and a couple of theatre type things. he carnival was brilliant for me I had great stuff to make the theme was 'FLOWER POWER' and worked a treat. Now I've a couple of workshops up the New Lodge way then off hooooorrraaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How Much?!?!?

It's official we are now up to our titty fa fas in debt - we have become bonified home owners !

I haven't actually got into the house yet as it's panto season and someones got to paint Aladdins palace. Got the keys last Saturday well when I say keys we got someones keys - yes they gave us the wrong ones - NUMPTYS

All has been rectified we're waiting for the plaster to dry and then Pete's starting the painting then we move in around the 28th of November concrete floors and all. At some stage we'll get curtains but until then the neighbours will get to know us quite well I'd say. Roll on the end of the month I want in there.

I'm So Excited

There is a 99.99999% chance I'll be heading to Oz for a coule of weeks in March. I was asked to go by Liz who has designed stuff for a company based here that have started 'Baby Raves'. They have been doing them here for the last few years and are now selling it as a package to all sorts, all round UK and now Australia.
Liz is a single mother and is reluctant to go herself during term time and feels it's also too far to go, so she asked ME!. I tried to act cool about it, especially there's always something that comes up that scuppers the whole thing.

Not been having a lot of luck with work related things - people not willing to pay me for the work I've done; people ignoring my texts re invoices, others deciding after a load of discussion and prep not to employ me and do it inhouse as I won't do it for 50p an hour! - I'm starting to get a tad paranoid about my work and ideas.

Hopefully the tide will turn, I do have other stuff coming up that will see me through to xmas, so things aren't dire yet.

'Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.'

OUR HOOSE !

THIS IS OUR HOUSE BACK AND FRONT AS OF LAST SATURDAY. THE FLOOR WERE LAID ON FRIDAY AND THE GARAGE FOUNDATIONS ARE GOING DOWN NEXT WEEK. HOPING THAT WE GET IN FOR THE END OF NOVEMBER BUT I'LL NOT HOLD MY BREATH.

WE SIGNED FOR IT IN APRIL AND I CAME TO REALISE VERY QUICKLY THAT THE EASIEST JOB IN THE UNIVERSE IS BEING AN ESTATE AGENT IN N. IRELAND THEY DO FECK ALL, AND GET PAID FOR IT - AMAZING. WOMAN ESTATE AGENTS TEND TO BE BOTTLE BLONDES AND FOUNDATION MONSTERS. THE LADS REJECTS FROM BOY BANDS OR EX INST BOYS WHO DIDN'T QUITE MANAGE TO PASS THE RIGHT EXAMS FOR ACCOUNTANCY. BUT THEN THEY'RE THE ONES MAKING ALL THE EASY MONEY.

OUR HOUSE IS IN BALLYHALBERT A VERY SMALL VILLAGE HALF WAY DOWN THE ARDS PENINSULA ON THE IRISH SEA SIDE AND THEREFORE THERE'S ALWAYS A HEALTHY WIND BLOWING.
APPARENTLY THERE WAS A PUB THERE ONCE BUT SOME DEVELOPERS SAW AN OPPORTUNITY AND TRANSFORMED IT INTO FLATS!!
BUT DO NOT FEAR THERE IS ALWAYS THE BOWLING CLUB AND THE PIGEON FANCIER CLUB. OR RATHER POPPING INTO ASDA ON THE WAY HOME - NOT SURE THERE'S AN OFFIE IN BALLYHALBERT EITHER. THERE MUST BE TO SERVE THE HOLIDAY MAKERS THAT DESCEND ONTO THE CARAVAN PARK EVERY CHANCE THEY GET. WELL WHEN WE DO MOVE THERE'LL BE ALL THAT CHANGING ADDRESS GETTING NEW BROADBAND PROVIDER BUYING A FREEVIEW IF WE CAN GET A SIGNAL - MOBILE PHONE PROVIDER HAS TO CHANGE TOO FOR THAT REASON. AND YET THE PANTO/XMAS SETS WILL STILL NEED TO BE PAINTEDAND THE PROPS MADE - YEEHAA ROLE ON DECEMBER.

Rapture!

I did it Nim you should be proud.I wasn't really sure what was going on I'm not very smart with the whole computer link blog thing. Right must go got a pile of black-light crap to make - it's crap now cos i still have to make iot - it will be fabulous when I'm done. Hopefully it'll look something like the Pragues Blacklight theatre stuff above

2 HOFFS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT

BOLLOX didn't mean to do that

THE HOFF !

THIS IS FOR THE LAY-DEEESSSS OUT THERE ...........OOOOOOOOO YEEAAAH

Ketchup

Had a moment there could not remember either my user name or my password as it's been so long since I blogged.

Thought I'd list some of the nice things that have happened in the last few days.

• Got back intouch with me old mate Tracy from Dalriada school days. Have a few years to catch up on
• Emer rang
• Been offered s load of work from various people
• My 6 year old niece Bronagh rang me to say thanks for the birthday pressie without being made to by her mother!! (I'm amazed by that one )
• My electric car window is working again and it was just the switch , not the motor which would have meant more money. So now I'm not sitting on a wet car seat.
• Our new build house has the roof nearly finished on it.
• Me old pal Shaun sent me a daft email about evil clowns.

Over the summer I have been involved with 3 separate week long Summer Schemes. The first was with 6 year olds (though I think some parents were being sneaky and their offspring were not quite there yet!). That was a real slap in the face after having nothing on for the 3 weeks previously, so I was ill prepared - They sucked the life out of me the little darlings. Then I had a week at a theatre with 8 - 11 yr olds my voice was hoarse, so by the time I got to No. 3 I just used sticks and other pointy items - ONLY JOKING. the last week was the 11 - 14 yr olds. Hormones, serious amount of makeup and 'whatever!' attitude. I'm glad schools back I'm ruined.

Sian

Recieved some sad news the other day about an old friend of mine that I had'nt seen for a while what with me being in Belfast and she in Cardiff.

Sian always seemed to have a rolley in one hand and a pint in the other a very sweet lady who enjoyed a good night out with mates. I met her when I started working at the Chapter Arts Centre in Canton Cardiff, in the late 90s. She was always up for a good gossip and filled me in on who was who etc.

She had been fighting a battle against cancer for many years now and unfortunately for us it won. So here's to the lovely Sian save us a seat at the bar mines a Erdinger!!

CARRRRRRRRNIVVALLLLLLLLL!!!!

Well the carnival day was a huge success despite some missing community group and missing bamboo sticks that were retrieved in the nick of time. We had loads of different carnival groups from London, Germany, and ........ wait for it............. Brazil - very easy on the eye. Lots of giggling females, lashes wafting and general dribbling.

Despite the constant distraction of the eyecandy we managed to get everything done. I was stewarding the Brazillians so I didn't get many photos but hope to scab some off others which I intend to post. However, I would like to make a very serious point that may not make a lot of sence to some but if you're from this part of the world you'll know.
The first of July in N. Ireland is referred to as the 'Mini 12th', i.e. it is kind of like a dress rehearsal to the 12th of July Orange Marches (now to be refered to as 'OrangeFest') Now the 'Mini12th can sometimes brew up a bit of scuffle ie riotious behaviour, our Carnival Day fell on the 1st of July, the 'Mini12th', but instead of the papers and the BBC covering any part of our Huge International Carnival Day they apparantly couldn't spare the people as they were all covering the rather more potentially 'contentious' and same old fecking crap Mini12th marches.

I thought we were trying to encourage N. Ireland to embrace the world outside of the shit that has been flogging us for fecking 37 years, I thought that N. Ireland was trying to create new attitudes and nuture new positive experiences with say for example a Huge International Carnival. It is astounding and disgraceful especially with the BBC s attitude.

For anyone that ever happens upon this it was brilliant, even though I say so myself being involved was great craic and result was something that N.Ireland needs more of .

Make Mine a Large One...

Something very satisfying about making a giant slice of lemon, specially when it passes close inspection. It also survived the rain- it is skewered in place on top of a giant portion of fish and chips and was left outside over night. Now the thing about N.Ireland weather is that it can give you a false sence of security and with all this lovely weather we had for a few days we think hooray the summers here. Well it was there then it left but I think it's thinking about coming back again soon - unfinished business. Anyway we left the float out thinking it'll be fine, grand it will be but no, no, no, no, no, no, sopping, sodding wet it was next morning and still the rain fell. However the lemon is made of anti aqua stuff and survives to crown the big wet fish, like a beacon of lemoniness - what i wish i could do is make it swival continuously in a automated way, but I'm not that clever.

My Voodoo Doll

CYRIL

This here is Cyril his my trusty voodoo doll well was - i donated him to a tv show because he was meant for bigger things than hanging about with me as I tried to figure out how to play forbidden siren. His coffee making skills were a bit ropey too. No Cyril needs the constant attention of a PA and I'm just not cut out for it. (Plus he can't hold his drink if you know what I mean!) So to the bright lights and heady world of BBC NI he went. I think of him often and wonder how he's doing - I tried to contact him, but he moves in very different circles now, doesn't return my calls.If you ever get the rare but priviledged opportunity of coming across Cyril give him my best.

OK here goes

I make stuff like this beanstalk for a living and yes i'm wearing it!


This is quite scary cos I'm crap at
1. technology
2. keeping things like this up to date, and
3. being interesting.

I've decided to do this as i've been mesmerised by several random strangers bloggs plus a couple of me mates are at it, bloggsites that is.

So hopefully I'll get the hang of this milarky quite pleased that i managed to get the picture sorted not 100 % sure quite how I did it but there you go.

I'm going to get a coffee now and sit out in the sun that comes so rarely to our n.ireland shores as I'm currently enjoying a day off making stuff.