WHATTHE FECKIN BALLOXIS THISFRIG GINGMON KEYPOO

COME HOME IN A GREAT MOOD DESPITE HAVING TO WORK THIS MORNING.

I HAD MET UP WITH SOME PALS AND HAD A GOOD GOSSIP.

I HAD GOT THE 4 TIER MINI GREENHOUSE I WAS SEARCHING FOR TO START MY ATTEMPT AT HERB GROWING LOOKING FORWARD TO PUTTING IT TOGETHER AND BRING FORTH LIFE.

THE SUN WAS OUT THERE WAS A GOOD TUNE PLAYING ON RADIO, ALL WAS WELL WITH THE WORLD.

THEN AS I PULL UP TO OUR HOUSE I THINK TO MYSELF :-

'SOMETHING DOES NOT SEEM RIGHT - WHAT COULD IT BE ?'

WELL BLOW ME ISN'T THERE A CHUFFING GREAT FECKIN 'FOR SALE' SIGN SCREWED TO OUR FENCE!!!

OH MY GOD

-HAD PETE DECIDED HE'D HAD ENOUGH OF TILING AND THOUGHT SOD IT LETS JUST SELL HER UP

-OR HAD WE WON THE LOTTERY AND WE WERE MOVING SOMEWHERE EXOTIC

-HAD WE NEVER ACTUALLY BOUGHT OR LIVED IN THIS HOUSE IT WAS ALL AN ALIEN EXPERIMENT BUT THEY'D FORGOTTEN TO ERASE MY MEMORY (JUST CAN'T GET THE INTERGALACTIC STAFF THESE DAYS)

RANG MY BELOVED - HE WAS READY TO COME HOME FROM WORK EARLY JUST TO TAKE IT DOWN AND BURN IT WITH A QUICKLY HAND MADE EFFIGY (SPELLING NOT GUD) OF AN ESTATE AGENT SUCH IS HIS LOVE AND RESPECT FOR THEY THAT GET PAID LOTS OF MONEY FOR DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING USEFUL!! AND ARE CLEARLY UNFIT EVEN FOR THAT PART OF THE JOB DESCRIPTION.

INSTEAD I PERSUDED HIM TO HOLD ON AND SO I RANG THE OFFENSIVE ONE AND GOT A WOMAN WITH A VERY POSH PHONE VOICE AND ALTHOUGH I CAN'T BE 100% SURE I DON'T THINK SHE EVEN APOLOGUISED FOR BEING A TWA* INSTEAD JUST LAUGHED IN THAT I REALLY DON'T CARE WAY SOME PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY REALLY DON'T CARE.

ABOVE AS IS CLEAR TO SEE THE OFFENSIVE OBJECT CURRENTLY AND OFFENSIVELY SCREWED TO OUR RELATIVELY INOFFENSIVE FENCE.

I FEEL MY RANT HAS COME TO IT'S NATURAL END AND I'M NOW PREPARED TO STOP UNTIL I DISCOVER WHEN I GET HOME TOMORROW THAT THEY HAVEN'T BOTHERED THEY ARSES TO REMOVE SAID OFFENSIVE OBJECT OUT COMES THE SAW AND MATCHES - OH YEAH................